Fell..

I choose to tink tat we met by fate. but perhaps, tat magical fate only lasted short-term… and im forced to wake up from de dream.

Talkin to him and seeing de smile on his face, unknowingly made me smile too. i kept laughing n laughing…till my jaws hurt :/ but i wasnt complaining, cos i was feeling happy. i wished we cld talk till daybreak! how nice it wld be to see de sunrise tgt…

With him, i felt my heart beating so fast. and my hands kept fidgeting ard. De chemistry just felt so right.

Then, it sounded kinda funny when he sudd pop de idea to “tour” me ard his office. The office was nicely designed.. with furnitures all carefully chosen. There were even paintings drawn by him, and self-made ceramic fixtures (i dunnno if its de correct word?) .. Hardly wld a guy go thru all this nitty-gritty stuffs huh?

Honestly speaking, i was surprised and impressed. His desk was even pretty neat.. =)

While enjoying his company & a glass of burbon coke, he asked a question (in fact, he asked many many qs…. :p) But tat particular qn.. somehow made me lost all my self-confidence and i ended up replying him a half-past-six answer. He seemed disappointed… (just my mere guess). I knew i regretted my reply…

The next few days in office was suffocating. My mind was so distracted despite how pre-occupied i was with work. Needless to say, my heart was taking control… :/ He was being missed.

I tried to avoid “falling”…… but .. i fell. It hurt and felt so pain. and tears soon began its way….

I guess this is de game of life. You meet some, you lose some..

It took me really, a lot of courage to send him a simple sms earlier (with my heart beating doubly fast). Perhaps, its de last one too (i doubt i hav any more courage to sms him). 

Till fate comes along (if there is)..

His identity shall remain anonymous. This space marks all de ups & down.. even if his appearance in my life is only short term, it is also worth remembering. i knew i was truly happy tat nite

Life’s too short rite?

Now… its back to reality (oh well). no more dreaming! =/

The wish..

i wished… there was another day of tonite…

you could say, it was probably .. a dream tat almost came true..

tired, but cant get to sleep. de heart feels very very sore. and de mind is working very very hard. :/

why did i let it affect me again? …….. deep sigh.

is it de end? *cries* =(

hmm..

One of de hardest things bout losing someone is tat on de surface, everythg returns to normal, while on de inside you hardly feel de same again…

I wonder, have i been de real me all this while? or were de smiles in place just to make de pple ard me happy?

Perhaps one day, i will look back at this phase of my life and give thanks to God for moulding me this way.. to learn, & overcome obstacles of life..

Dont you tink de most impt thing is to be a blessing to de pple ard u?

Often, disappointments sets in when we focus on ourselves.. instead, when we focus on what we can give…, we receive more joy & satisfaction …  

That’s where i find meaningful purpose @ work.. *lookin forward*

Friday alas..

Work’s pretty smooth sailing this week met some really nice customers, so im grateful for tat! =)

But been feeling under de weather recently.. sigh. And i feel so lethargic everyday. is this a symptom of ageing?

… TGIF!

Have a blessed weekend y’all (“,) Gonna rest early tonite…..

What do ya think?

“Life only comes around once so make sure u spend it with the right person ..

Be with the one..

who calls you beautiful instead of hot.. who calls you back when you hang up on him..

who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who.. kisses your forehead.. who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

Who holds your hand in front of his friends.. who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you & how lucky he is to have you.

Who turns to his friends and says with honour, ” That’s her!! “:)

On a seperate note, this song has been lingering in my mind. Makes one feel extremely emotional esp alone at nite! :/

伍家辉 虽然我愿意

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
(心还想着你)

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

Sick.

Its de long awaited loooong-weekend….(yay)… the month of May passes so fast due to the public holidays.

Caught de fever bug last nite. Was feeling under de weather in de morn, but stil wen ahead wif work. Not tat im sooo workacholic, nor am i dying to show gd performance……

Staying alone at home makes me tink too much. and there’s nth i can do other than sleep…

So, i rather head to office where time passes faster. And needless to say, the company of nice colleagues, plus a lovely lunch, makes it all de more worthwhile

i guess the opportunity cost is to rest instead of going out during tis long wkend lor *sob*

Recently, finished watching this Korean drama – Sorry, I Love You. Watching it made me so emotional, and de mere thought of “death” scares me.

Synopsis:

Cha Moo Hyuk was adopted by an Australian family, but was abused and left homeless at an early age. Growing up on the streets, he meets all sorts of people until one day he comes across Song Eun Chae. Eun Chae is the coordinator for Choi Yune, a famous singer in Korea, whom she is secretly in love with. Her fateful encounter with Moo Hyuk ends up affecting not only her life but that of her precious Yune as well.

Because of an accident involving his ex-girlfriend, Moo Hyuk is left with 3 months to live. This leads him to head back to Korea in search of his biological mother. The discoveries he make change his heart from longing to revenge. The anger of betrayal he feels toward life and his mother lead him to some regrettable actions. Even with all this darkness surrounding him, he finds an unexpected source of happiness with someone he didn’t expect to love. Although he purposely creates suffering in the lives of those around him, he wishes with all his heart someone would stop him…change him.

Eventually Cha Moo Hyuk finds out the truth that his mother actually did not abandon him. His mother had an affair with a married man. Eun Chae’s father(the chauffeur and step-husband of Oh Deul Hee) was the one who abandoned Cha Moo Hyuk as soon as he was born and told his mother that her child had died. Eun Chae’s father did this because thought he was “saving” Oh Deul Hee’s reputation because if the Korean society were to find out about her affair then she would be treated as a disgrace. Oh Deul Hee adapted Choi Yune in memory of Cha Moo Hyuk, still believing he is dead.

Once finding this out, Eun Chae’s father admits to the truth, and tells him that he is willing to accept any punishment. Cha Moo Hyuk shouts at him, restraining himself from strangling him. He tell Eun Chae’s father that one day he will receive one. Cha Moo Hyuk dies after a dramatic motorcycle-riding scene. Before his death he calls Song Eun Chae and tells her, “I’m Sorry. I love you.”

Warning: Gotta prepare boxes of tissue!

Seems like this weekend i have to rot rest at home with my VCDs ….. hehe.

Torn

Today’s Mum & Dad’s 27th wedding anniversary….

came home specially for dinner.

our usual family routine is to celebrate with a cake…

my stomach was hurting badly, so i forgo de cake… i just laid on de bed… hopin for de pain to subside.

Dad’s remark hurt me tat tears immediately roll…. it was jus 4 words “thats your own business”.

Suddenly, the pain in de heart felt even more painful than de pain in my stomach.

Dear brother made an effort to ask me wads wrong, but i was too upset to talk.

Tired staying here.

Time spent in office is so much happier than time spent at home.

Swollen eyes tmr.

sigh.

Sometimes, stories posted on FP forum really make me think twice about r/s commitments and, marriage.

It could be as simple as a paper certificate.. but how many would actually see it as a life long commitment?

On and off hearing bout divorce rates, 3rd party affairs, child custody etc… can be quite demoralising.

=/

Marriage is the single most important relationship in this life beyond the relationship with God.  God gave Marriage to the human race as a demonstration of His divine love.  Marriage Grace reveals God’s essence in giving to mankind a home for love and intimacy – a place where two people can have a special love that is beyond belief.  Marriage Grace is God’s gift to mankind.  The Lord Himself personally oversees marriage.  He makes Right Man and Right Woman; then brings them together miraculously; and gives them an intimate love relationship – all compliments of His eternal, infinite, and matchless grace.

Lazy Saturday

Sometimes time passes so fast, its hard to truly appreciate life…

so i stayed home today, intending to do things i like/ things tat i always excuse myself with “no time.. too tired …lazy lah….” etc.

sounds familiar? heh.

time has been so occupied with work, ive hardly personal & social time! been postponing all de lunches/ dinners…. but its nice when you receive such reply “its alrite, good things must wait…..”

makes me on cloud 9! tho im actually nothin gr8 worth waiting lah =p

lazy wkend.. alone at home can be quite scary. de doorbell nvr fails to ring… & i feel so intimidated by it. =( i guess tats de insecurity u get when you moved out from a previous place where there were security guard to “guard”  ya safefy (duh!).

Anway, with the upcoming Mother’s Day being tmr, decided to deliver this bouquet of flowers to Mum’s office yest… back den wen he delivered flowers on V-day, it came as a gr8 surprise to me & every sh*t at work was simply overriden by tat bouquet of flowers! so i tout, gotta be a good idea to deliver to mum’s office so she can smile at it everyday…. hee.

(i had a tough time deciding on de flowers as they are all soooo beautiful!)

Ended up deciding on this lovely bouquet, which was also love at first sight, hehe. =p

Just a simple gesture. No amount of gifts will be able to replace Mum’s love!

Now, what to get for Father’s Day?

If you’re not the one.. (Daniel Bedingfield)

Sth i learn today…

“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.”

sounds simple, yet true…

attacked by the “emo” bug … :/

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms? 

P.S. Regards to de prev post, everything’s alrite now! =)

droplets.

Family had some mini arguement this morning. i jus woke up and saw sis tearing, dad talk unusually loud… heard mum being mentioned… :/

not sure bout de details, and not de right time to ask either..

it jus made de mood realli bad. very depressing. its been looong since my family quarrelled. i hope its jus a short-term thingy. in a few hrs time…. will they be in smiles again? :/

at times like this, i dunno who i can talk to, except my dear blog.

sigh. de wkend started on a bad note…. *cries*

:)

:)

“Disappointments are like road humps, they slow you down a bit … but you will enjoy the smooth journey afterwards. Don’t stay on the humps too long, move on. When you feel down because you didn’t get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better for you..”