Holding the Tears

Its amazing weird how those words can affect me emotionally.. and even more strange tat as i continue readin, i teared… :/ It seems like i can put myself in de “picture” and realise, there goes a lost chance.. was i too sensitive to de words?

 

When will it stop raining? Could de rain be a symbol of tears?

Is life bout trusting your feelings and taking chances? Losing and den finding happiness?

Appreciating the memories, learning from the past, and realizing people do change?

After 14 months, do i still know how it feels wen emotionally attracted?

 

My heart skip when i saw him.

My heart beats unknowingly fast.

My hands start feeling cold, and soon cold sweat.

My hands keep fidgeting.

He is almost always on my mind.

I stared at my hp, wondering wad’s de best words to xpress.. but my mind wen blank.

 

Is there a right time/ place?

Does he feel de same way like i do?

Could it be just a one-way route again?

Do i hav de minimal courage to let him know?

Will i look/ appear like a silly fool ?

Perhaps im not good enough for him?

 

Behind all this lies de simple truth…. i fear rejection and hav lost faith on de way..

If only i was an angel… I wld keep u in my prayers & choose to watch over u…

For some reason i dunno; its a feeling, undescribable.

Many pple i’ve smiled at (for de sake of appearing happy); but wen I first saw you, my heart took over & smiled, from de heart…

 

Perhaps i should just keep it de way it is now.. seeing de other happy, even from a distance?

Time to schedule for my next checkup; medication does not seem to work anymore. Why does it still feels so pain? Irritates me :/