Blue-Black

Stopped over at Carrefour earlier to buy baking stuffs.

Underestimated de weight…didnt expect those few items to be so heavy! got home, spotted 2 round blue-black on both legs :/

i tink i sorta injured my back n arm while “dragging” de stuff back home as well.

Sigh, baking gotta be postpone.. now sitting in a weird posture.. sian 1/2.

Had team lunch today @ Jumbo. seafood for lunch! not much of appetite, so while de rest were busy enjoying de yummy-licious crabs…. i stared in daze, dreaming… ;p i see a different side of Clarke Quay. It looks so serene n peaceful, unlike de nite life!

(while dreaming..) i contemplated a career switch.

Today, it feels good to see de team smiling and laughing away…

Happiness derive from knowing de people ard me are happy. indeed a nice heart warming feeling to rem this day.

-2200-

The Memory Keeper’s Daughter

by Kim Edwards

“A relationship cannot last where lies exist in between.”

A heart-wrenching story - loss, regret and neglected love. It narrates how one’s decision could change de lives of so many people.. it shares the burden of secrets, de loneliness of a disintegrating marriage and most imptly, de need for developmentally disabled children to feel accepted by de society.

A fiction, but with very real, honest emotions. glad to hav this book! worth reading! =)

[3 posts in a day! The result of staying home...;p]

-2150-

Hope

A couple who both loves children, only to realise sth was wrong with de baby’s heart in de midst of de pregnancy. According to de cardiologist, de baby wld die in de womb or shortly after birth. Abortion was an option, but de couple did not. A wk after birth, Baby Joel underwent open-heart surgery to patch up de hole in his heart.

   

“Its very stressful to take care of Joel because i always fear that something will happen to him or that he will just die in his sleep. When we look back on our journey, we see a glimmer of hope because the little fighter has survived the past 2 years. i always tell him, ‘You might have a tough beginning, but you will grow up to be a tough boy’.” -Joel’s Mum

Somehow, cld relate to this article. i had my open-heart surgery when i was 2yrs old.

Cant rem any of de pain and needles tat when thru me during tat period of time. While i was unknown to wad was going on, my parents must have felt the pain badly. The agony of waiting outside de operating theatre, and taking special care of me thereafter etc.. :X

Back den, i was told not to do any exercise. After 10yrs of constant checkup, i was finally “released” and given de green light to do some sports. Definitely a relieved. The occasional pain in de heart stil worries them, but tats due to stress (i tink).

Now, there’s only a scar left on my back.

Thankful for this life.. thankful to have their endearing love and support.

A reminder to count our blessings & treasure each day. Make it worthwhile. A life, so precious..waiting for us to discover many blessings…

No matter how tough circumstances are, hope keeps us alive.

-2000-

Peace

my phone died on me.

on medical leave today, and had left de charger in de office, so.. phone was off, to conserve a bit of de balance 10% battery life :/

de supposedly short nap became a (good) looong sleep. temp has subsided. =) today’s medication was a bit stronger. which explains de longer drowsy effect.. (i tink?).

at least they are colourful tho..! hehe. ;p

-1800-

In life..

we win some, we lose some.

Quote

“Sometimes we dont hav to fall for someone whose “type” we think we’ll fall for..

Sometimes we dump all resolutions and principles and logic to be with someone who makes us happy..

Sometimes 2 people unconsciously reach out and walk into it tgt, hand in hand, and they are there before they even realize it.”

Unquote

Books make me think too much sometimes! =/

Learning to be contented… its always easier to smile… :):)

-0000-

Stranger

was in de midst of cleaning de house, when.. de doorbell rang.

non-stop.

felt kinda scary esp when im all alone. :/

shortly, de doorbells became door knocks…

very persistent.

stranger.

how do i step out of de house?

-1615-

Blurrr~~

either im too tired. or too stress.

its 1230pm, and i just woke up ;p

kept waking up in de middle of de night yest. waiting for my parents to call once they touched down. supposedly to be arrival at 630am…

waiting can be quite an agony sometimes.

and then stupid thoughts came into my mind (again). i wen to check de news jus in case! =/

…

moments later, Dad called! :):)

i forgotten there’s time difference! 630am was not Singapore time……… there’s a 6hrs difference!

-.-|||||

-1305-

The Downtimes

140908. sunday. lighted lanterns. musical lanterns. candles. mooncake. sparkles.

Kids. couples. families. bonding. east coast park. pasir ris park. west coast park. chinese garden.

On de journey back home, i thought of the yearly lantern festival and kinda.. miss those (good old) days. memories it holds.

This year, it will be de first one without my parents :/ sigh! doubt i’ll be outside. hopefully there’s some nice shows on TV worth watchin.

 

The kitchen is now overcrowded with food =(

Bought some food along de way home, jus in case bro/sis gets hungry. and since its de wkend tmr, the food can be for breakfast/ lunch ;p

At de same time, mum also bought a lot! i took a glance and saw all our fav food. 3 trays of Yakult, 2 boxes of durian puff, lots of fruits, some biscuits, tuna & chicken pie, chocolate cake, fruit tarts.. basically, there isnt any space in de fridge now :/ so tempting, but cant eat.

loved.

Didnt send them off. goodbye hurts. am startin to miss them alr. they have been travelling so much this year. indeed, absence makes de heart fonder. house gonna be pretty empty (and quiet) for the time being. and no home-cooked food! :/

 

Recently, lunch has been out of office zone. our latest craze would be Oldtown White Coffee @ East Coast Big Splash. beach places always seem more relaxed..unlike de stressful aura in office.

Desperately need to breathe some fresh air. things hasnt been going well recently. esp at work. as much as i tell de friends ard me tat “tmr will be a better day…”, i still .. cant convince myself with tat statement yet.

 

Am trying to lower all my expectations now.. in every aspect (lol). this is de result of many comments i received recently- particularly in work & r/s.

Cant expect all customers to be so obedient, understanding and appreciative. bound to have a handful of irritating and unreasonable ones. perhaps de ones i encountered recently have all been so outright demanding, tat i feel as if im at de lowest point of survival. emotions activated.

Also trying not to stare at my hp anymore. dont wan to “hope”/ “expect” his sms, and not reading too much into every msg from him alr. If it comes, you might catch me smiling away reading de msg.

Some “concern” msgs make me over-think sometimes. Come to tink of it, it might jus be a concern out of friendship and nth else! *silly me*

Been so hesistant to meet new ones.. sigh. maybe.. its time.

-2220-

Helpless

Customer’s unsettled problem yesterday led to more misery today.

 

Cant believe I have to wait till 4pm for New York to revert back! Yet another day wasted….

 

Left alone to settle this issue… just needed to rant here…before i start tearing again.

 

Feeling so lost and desperate now…. *cries*

 

-1050-

dilemma

today, i was near to askin him out for dinner.. :/

but an inner voice seems to tell me he wouldnt be free.. sms was un-sent.

(perhaps it was an excuse to myself !)

as if de day wasnt bad enough.. i injured my right leg *ouch*

all bcos of vanity. heels are de culprit (>.<).

  

Friday.

cant decide if i shld join de guys for drinks …

parents will be away for a week.

so.. there isnt much reason for me to return home early?

  

de heart’s itching to ask him out.

but haven master enough courage to make de first move tho.

dilemma.

it feels as if this is de result of karma =(

negative impact.

what comes ard goes ard.

 

or perhaps a cooking class?

been ages since i start my hands on new dishes…

den again… who to cook for?

=/

  

1 year from today marks 090909.

it used to be the day i was lookin forward to…

environment change. people change. all has changed.

wad will happen 1 year later?

the road ahead seems so rocky.

blurred by all obstacles.

 

…… happy moments; short-lived…..

-1022-

In a Mess

“if only, you know, 

i fear goodbyes.

bcos,

i dunno when i’ll see u again.”

 

what mess did i land myself into?

i kept staring at my hp today.

wad was i hoping for?

am contemplating not bringing my hp/ switching it off now.

will it lessen de disappointment as i wont expect any calls/ msgs?

 

where matters of de heart is concerned, i really cannot-make-it.

perhaps it is de lag time im experiencing.

every other gal out there have their own individual flair and attractiveness.

i dunno wads mine.

be it de tall or short, i seem to lose in every aspect.

talk bout confidence? sigh!

 

last week, a concern customer-cum-friend called, wanting to arrange a lunch.. tgt with her nephew.

it only dauned on me awhile later tat she was tryin to matchmake -.-”"”

this came kinda sudden, so i was erh… a bit speechless.

 

“you have to open up ya choices.. who knows the lunch could possibly be the beginning of something!”

 

sounds (so) true.

but hard to do.

his smile makes my heart melt.

his company makes me smile.

 

Staring at the sunflower, it doesnt look as beautiful as before anymore. Every object looks differently when viewed at different angle. I guess this applies to life as well.

Rain has started…. so it adds to a more complex emotional feeling.

i’ll be fine…. i’ll be fine…. i’ll be fine…. =)

-1054-

Jap craving

missing Waraku ;p

-0800-

Sick Sunday

last nite was terrible sleeping. woke up almost every 2 hrs.

tossing n turning, with my hand pressing onto my stomach, hopin de pain wil subside – didnt work (kinda expected anyway, lol)

felt so blur. tout it was Monday and wanted to prepare for work :/ perhaps cos was on leave on Fri for check up, so in a way… i had 2 days of rest alr. now, de nickname “sotong” seems so appropriate, haha.

woke up at 7. took my temperature. running a fever.

look for panadol. and forced myself to sleep (after realising its Sunday).

woke up at 11. cant get to slp alr. heavy head.

…

…

Sundays. hmm, Mr Doctor doesnt open on Sundays. and im too lazy to visit those 24hrs kind…

sigh.

…

…

ling: “medication will take time for recovery…. go look at cute babies lah! instant recovery ok!”

me: “erh.. .. thanks HUH…. -.-||”

(babies smiles r de most innocent. diff babies r attractive in their own way. some hav chubby cheeks. some hav beautiful eyes. & de moment they smile.. it seems to remove all sorts of initial pain/ worry.

but huh.. lookin at baby pics doesnt mean im longing for a baby… lol ;p)

-1157-

Smile, wil u?

kinda like how this photo turn out.. looks like those olden days pic ;p

Hope to see you with your charming smile again, boy.

Your smile is contagious.

It makes de pple ard you happy… be strong, will u? *hugs*

=)

-0045-

Dine @ HV

Last few days was spent “forum-ing”… for nice food. lol. i usually read de reviews at www.hungrygowhere.com – was recommended by my colleague ;p

for convenience sake, decided it was better to dine ard city hall area. somehow had waraku in mind.. food was good de last time i’d it :)

den checked out de various coffee places for de “closing time”. wanted to make sure they open till at least 12md ;p surprisingly, not many does! most of de coffee joints close like ard 11pm? :/ and i didnt realise Suntec itself has like 4 Starbucks?

one of them closes at 2am, so Starbucks was a standby after-dinner plans. need to hav at least a cake for birthday rite? heh.

randomly, tout of Singapore Flyer. but called off tat idea cos….. had a gut feeling plans will change somehow. 

(6th sense)

true enough, timing n location were changed! lol~~~

of all places, location was changed to Holland V! *ahhh* A place where i hav no clue wad is good over there…sheesh

(de last time i was thr shld be 1.5yrs back alr? when i was stil with him…)

cancelled de earlier arrangements.

kan cheong. i tink i called almost all de cafes @ Holland V -.-”"” … NYDC, Coffee Club, Breko, Starbucks, Coffeebean, Olio Dome, Essential Brew..

other than de “closing time”, had to make sure they also had de birthday stick thingy and candles. So seems like only Coffee Club fit de 2 “criterias”.

cabbed down to Holland V- taxi uncle wen de wrong way =( Felt like a mountain tortoise. Didnt even know there was a shopping mall there! *lost* :/

dinner was @ Sushi Tei. adjourn to Coffee Club thereafter - lucky no objections from him. =)

Shared de sinful~~~~ “Muddy Mud Pie”~~~~, topped up with de birthday msg and candle!

(Thanks to de staff!)

A photo before we left de place. for remembrance. my face is in bad shape……….. :/ so didnt post de one taken with flash. Non-flash “hides” my bad outbreak…. heh heh.

gr8 company! =)

    

Left a little earlier than i’d planned. nevertheless, stil manage to wish him in de cab wen it was 0000! (“,)

-0030-